I was surprised he could navigate the Internet so well as to be able to find my little online writing outlet here, but he did. I suspect he was led here, but that's a rant for a different day! His summation of the time I have spent pouring my feelings out here? "Well there are things that I don't agree with..." No shit.... really? You mean after almost three years of marriage, 8 yrs of being together, there are things we don't agree on? I. Am. Shocked. For all of you who don't know me, that last part was called sarcasm. The main difference between my husband and I, after all this time, is that I stand up for what I believe in. I would much rather get my feelings out there and run the risk of upsetting people, then keep all my beliefs to myself so that no one knows my true opinion. Why would I want to surround myself with superficial friends? People whom I could never share my true feelings with for fear of rejection or ridicule? On the contrary, there are a great number of people who I wish DO read my blog, in the hopes that something I write one day could possibly illuminate their small-mindedness.
Not just blogs, but the Internet as a whole, is a study of human nature in vast proportions, and growing every second. This is my virtual diary, for sure, but in plain view of the public, and why? Because I have nothing to hide. I put my problems out there for everyone to see, and who knows, maybe someone other than me might one day find an answer I couldn't. Maybe someone who took advantage of me long ago will see I am no longer a push-over. Maybe strangers will relate to some of my experiences, and in turn feel better about their own. Maybe some day my husband will learn to accept that writing and the Internet are therapeutic to me. That is a lot of Maybes for one paragraph!
The best trait I have ever developed over recent years, is my ability to stand up and take action. I will not sit still, and I will not be silenced by people who have overlooked me in the past. I am far removed from that mild-mannered chick who let those with bigger ambitions walk all over me. I may not be surrounded by people calling themselves friends any longer, but I'd rather keep the few that are left who love me, then try to hold on to those drones who once paraded about pretending to care.
Its late, and now I think I am becoming repetitive. It seems to me that I have come to this revelation before. Even so, it's worth noting again I guess! I'm feeling very positive tonight, in spite of some of the fighting I've been doing. Its the feeling like maybe I am actually making a difference, slowly but surely.
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