The Mood

Have you ever gotten yourself into such a funk, that it is nearly impossible to find your way back out of? I am in the midst of one such mood currently. I don't even know what I did to get into this state of mind, but I don't really think I want it to continue. Everything for the past week or so has been just blah. There are things I should be happy about, Dakota starting Kindergarten on Monday for example; but I'm not completely. There are things I should be upset about, the girls being sick and feverish, and I'm worried for sure, but even mild illness doesn't pull me from the surrounding fog. I know it will pass, as the 'blahs' always do, but I keep wondering why they come back. Its far from the depressive state I once fumbled around in, but its close enough to unhappiness to make me really wonder.

I should be happy almost all the time, because, except for stress about money, I have a somewhat perfect looking life, right? I have the devoted (sometimes sarcastic) husband, three adorable (mildly rebellious) young children, and a number of great family members and friends (even though most of them are a distance away). See, I cannot even write about the good stuff without interjecting the not so good stuff. I'm wondering if that makes me a realist, or a pessimist.

I have a theory that looking into my own past too much this past week has really brought out the gloom full-force, because, lets face it, I was NOT a happy adolescent. So in order to get back to my semblance of real life cheerfulness, I will be needing to make a small change somewhere. Its not going to happen over night. Seeing Dakota to his first day of school on Monday will bring me back a bit. Possibly getting a part-time job at the new Tim Hortons in town could be an even bigger step in the right direction. Maybe all along I've just been lacking some sort of motivational purpose. I'm doing great as a stay-at-home mom, but maybe I've reached a point where that's not just all I should be. I'm not saying a Timmies girl is the be all and end all BUT it throws me out of my comfort zone for awhile, its been so long since I worked outside the house.

I am going to get over 'The Mood' somehow, I owe it to my husband and children, and most of all, I owe it to myself. My "Live each day like it was your last" motto has been a bit dusty lately, so I'm thinking I should embrace it once again and see what happens. I'm not going to go jumping out of planes or anything, but I do need to LIVE life, instead of just letting it pass by in endless shades of gray. So... What should I wear to win over the Tim Hortons people?