Truth Telling Day

I nominate today as Truth Telling Day. Honestly I don't care if anyone else wants to tell the truth or not, but I've been keeping so many toxic secrets for so many years, it is finally time to lay all my cards down on the table. They are the very definition of toxic, because keeping these things inside has kept me from moving on, kept me from getting to a healthy perspective once again. So here I go, and I offer no disclaimer for the things I am about to divulge.

(in a rare burst of humanity, I have partially obscured the names for my own peace of mind)

A#1: I am thoroughly disgusted with you. You claim to be such a wonderful friend, fiercely loyal and other such bullshit. Yet a simple request to obtain a copy of a video of Jon and I together is denied for no logical reason whatsoever. You know full well that Jon and I have been having problems, and what a treasure a short video clip of us laughing together could mean to me, but instead you'd delete it before I could share it or even copy it for myself. I admit that even though you've done pointlessly idiotic things like this in the past, that I could have eventually gotten past it. Why I refuse to get past, or even try to become friends again, is your support of a convicted child abuser. The worst part is that she's not even a repentant child abuser!

A#2: There is no way on earth, that I could ever forgive your past sins, and I don't care how much you try to pimp the idea of your traumatic 'head injury' around to your friends.

C: You were an asshole way back when, and I should have stuck with that opinion instead of believing your apologies and claims of being a 'different person'. How was I to know it was a huge show just so you could sleep with my best friend? I guess I should have gotten a clue when you took advantage of my loneliness to start sending me erotic texts, describing how much you fantasized about sleeping with me. All while claiming to be my best friend's 'boyfriend' and my husband's 'best friend'. I feel much more informed now, as to the 'real' you, so thanks for that!

J: You've never tried to hid the fact that you want to sleep with me, and while I don't mind harmless flirting, I took serious offense to the fact that you actually told people we DID sleep together, when in fact we have never. Then there were the nights you dragged me out drinking, in an attempt to get me drunk enough to follow you home, even though my wedding was mere weeks away. I am just sorry that I didn't figure out your intentions before you tried to kiss me. Then there was the "No way I cant STAND babies" comment, directed towards my newborn daughter being held out to you to hold. Is it REALLY a wonder why I removed you from my friends list??

P: To say we were ever friends is laughable, because I find it hard to believe anyone with your ego can actually make room for true friends. You can make mistakes all over the place, be brash and rude, yet it should be all good. However heaven forbid anyone else make a mistake and own up to it, because that is the time to really let them have it, right? That's when its all okay to tell them what you REALLY think of them. However, if not for those moments, I might never know what you actually think of me, and I am grateful to know the truth now, so that you no longer have to pretend around me!

R: best friends with benefits... or was that roommates with benefits, when it was convenient for you anyway. When I was self-destructing, depressed, feeling alone, you could very happily ignore me. Or, my personal favorite, during the lowest point in my life, yelling "Grow up!" at me from your room to mine. Fast forward a few years, and now the only thing I am good for is babysitting your kid for free! Isn't that just the best, and I kept agreeing because of how much I love kids all the while deluding myself thinking we're friends and I'm NOT being used! I've tried to remain friends with all my exes, because I have always believed that someone worth being intimate with, is worth having as a friend. I have since started re-thinking that belief.