Parents who Fail on Purpose

I totally understand becoming a parent by accident, as it is quite easy to end up pregnant for some people. However once you have that little bundle in your arms, or even as a little bun in your oven, you are supposed to be responsible for it. I don't care by what means it took to conceive, whether it was a few seconds or a few years, you become a parent the moment you (or your partner) become pregnant. THAT is fact. Another fact though, is that many parents are failing their children, and some are failing on purpose. Those who choose to continue any of the following while pregnant, for example: smoking, drinking, drugs. Then there are those who continue their selfish lifestyles AFTER the baby is born. There was a case in Vancouver recently, of a man who went out for a night of drinking in a local pub. The waitress overheard him say to his drinking buddies: "Just a sec I gotta go check on my kids." The worried server tipped off the police, and they followed the bar patron back to his vehicle where they found two children, 2yrs old and 4months old, strapped in their car seats. Not only were they in distress because they were trapped in a locked car on one of our hottest days this summer, but at some point, after being out drinking, it was evident that this man intended to drive the kids home in his intoxicated state!

My other example is a little closer to home for me, as it is the failure of a mother who at one point I considered a very close friend. By all accounts she seemed like a great success as a single mother to her young son. Being that he was so close in age to my own son, the four of us spent a lot of time together, I even provided daycare for her when she needed it. Then, when our boys were 2 1/2 yrs old, she met a man. Within a few short months, she moved in with him, stopped talking to most of her friends and her family, and cut her little boy off from all the people who loved him. About 3 months after that, her son was apprehended by the ministry of children and families in Canada, and both the mother and boyfriend were charged with child abuse. I will not go into the details of the abuse, as they are painful and heart wrenching, and not at all the point of my re-telling. The point, is that while her son is now in the custody of his loving grandmother, this 'mother' has chosen to remain with her boyfriend. She has chosen a man she's been with less than two years, over her own baby. How do people who have brought innocent children into this world keep making such SELFISH choices? The very idea of it makes me sick.

My three children are the brightest lights in my life, and they have been that since I got that positive little sign on the pregnancy test. I am by no means a perfect parent, I don't believe any exist. However I would never willingly fail my children on purpose. I also refuse to associate with anyone who would so callously handle their own children in such a way as to put them in harm's way. I also firmly believe there should be MUCH harsher punishments doled out for such failing parents. One has to wonder the conversations that could take place between parent and child later on down the road... "Hey Mom, why'd you beat on me and abandon me when I was a kid?"