Depression Sucks

So this is my new blog, and instead of introducing myself and being all nicey-nice, I thought I'd just get right to what this blog is for me. Its my opinion. Or opinions I guess. I am going to blog about the things that matter most to me. Now in the ordinary world, those things would be my kids, however, being a rather well-rounded individual, they are not the only things I have to talk about! Since my day to day life has to revolve around them, being that they are two toddlers and an almost 5 yr old, my blog is going to go deeper than that. How deep, you might ask. Well, how about depression, for my first topic?

I was recently very sickened by some comments on my parenting message board, toward a news report of someone with depression. This person was threatning to jump off a bridge, and because he was holding up traffic, an enraged driver pushed him off. That story is bad enough, but to have someone else say 'good for him for pushing him', I'm sorry but that is just plain awful.

Depression isnt something anyone WANTS to get. Its not something like a fad, or a trend that people willingly adopt. Those who are lucky enough to have never experienced it, can not ever truly comprehend the actions of those who do suffer from it. Depression doesnt discriminate by age, by sex, by race, or by religion. It can worm its way into the mind of just about anyone, all it needs is a seed of insecurity, watered by the right circumstances, and there you go. Another problem is, that once it establishes itself, it never ever intends to leave. Sure there are therapies out there to combat it, to lull it into unconciousness, but it never truly does ever leave for good. This is why belittling the threat of suicide is so wrong. Especially on a public message board. You dont know who has it, who has overcome it, or who has lost someone to it. Depression's most painful faces are the ones who couldnt beat it. The ones who kept their struggle so silent that even their closest companions had no idea until it was too late.

I have a small inclination of what those last moments feel like, as depression has driven me many times to do things that could be potentially fatal. As hard as I've tried to drown it out, even moving across Canada, it kept worming its way back into my brain, feeding off my every insecurity. However as you can tell by my blog today, I have not yet given up the fight. On the contrary, I have been winning for several years now, thanks in part to my loving family and friends. Those closest to me understand some of my demons, and have helped me successfully control them. But then there are those message board comments. Those callous few who act like depression is some sort of excuse to cover purposely self-destructive behaviour. It. Is. Not. It is about as voluntary as a root-canal or amputation.

So the next time there's a story about someone so obviously depressed, I really hope there is a tad bit better showing of compassion. There is nothing funny about mental illness, and I still cant believe there are people who are so ignorant as to make light of it!